Culture Bump

November is crazy busy, but I'm getting through it - it never seems as bad once it's all over.  So, last weekend all of us in the program took a road trip to Madison, Wisconsin for a grief workshop where we learned about how to deal with parents who have had perinatal losses (miscarriages, still births, newborn death).  I had the best time going out with the gals (and guy) the night before - we stayed out until 2am in the morning even though the workshop was at 8am the next morning.  It probably wasn't the BEST idea, but definitely totally worth it.  The grief workshop itself was good, too - one of the presenters, a NICU nurse, shared her story of loosing her grandchild.  We were all touched by her story and most of us cried.  I did, too.  :p  Anyways, after that emotionally draining day, we drove back to the city, a 3 hr drive.  And we saw this:

Yeah.  We were pretty shocked.  I was a little grossed out / disgusted by it.  But, we are in America.  Needless to say... CULTURE BUMP (definition = when you expect one thing but get something else)!

Anyways, I got home, and Michigan Ave was lit up with all the lights to welcome winter.  It is SO pretty - I'm just sad that I missed the lighting ceremony.  They have a parade down Michigan Avenue and the lights lit up as the parade goes by.  Because we were stuck in traffic, I only got to see what it looked like after.  It was still gorgeous, though. 

Winter is here!  I know that it is snowing back at home.  It isn't snowing here yet - but it is suppose to get pretty cold soon.  Only a few more weeks until this quarter is over, and I come home to see friends and family.  I miss everyone so much. 

Pan Can!

I'm not sure why, but the Chicago Skyline lit up to say "PAN CAN" yesterday.  Usually when there is some sort of big event, the buildings lights are turned on/off in a way that spells something related to the event on the building.  Anyways, that was cool.  Too bad I don't have a picture of it!

I had my second academic adviser meeting yesterday.  It seems that I'm doing quite well.  I've been getting good grades and I'm learning SO much.  I'm still absolutely loving the program.  I keep saying how lucky I am, and how everything is perfect beyond my expectations, and it's really true.  For example, I'm not the best writer and I'm not very confident in my writing.  So, last week, it just so happens the program decided to hold its first ever writing workshop.  Normally writing workshops are boring and useless - not this one.  I learned SO much and actually learned a lot from it.  I can't say that I'm 100% confident with writing now, but at least I now have specific things I can identify and work on.  Another example.  I have been fortunate in my life that no one close to me has ever died.  Because of this, I'm quite uncomfortable in dealing with grief - I don't know what to do or say.  Well, next week, we are going to a grief workshop, and my practice role play scenario this week is to talk about DNR with a family.  It's amazing that the program seems to be targeting exactly what I feel like my weaknesses are and teaching me skills I need to make me a better GC. 

The best part of the program, though - is my awesome classmates.  Each one of them is so unique and awesome, and I think we've all started to bond as a group.  I love how different we are, too.  Maybe one of these days I will write little profiles on each of my classmates.  Even though I miss the depth of the many friendships I now have to maintain long-distance, the way I get along with my new friends make it slightly easier.  I miss my best friends. 

So now the only thing I really really need to integrate into my life is a healthier life style - especially exercising and losing weight.  Yes, Pan Can! 

Halloween

I wasn't going to do anything for Halloween this year because the amount of school work coming up in November.  But grad school is about balance.  Work hard, play hard, right?  So instead, I decided to take some time off.  First, the pumpkin carving party at one of the second year student's apartment. 

The Pumpkin Patch

And later on, WILD party at one of my classmate's apartment.  I didn't have the time or money to come up with a good costume, so I borrowed a friend's cat ears. Voila!  Cat!  I'm SO creative that way.  The party was tons of fun, though.  We had some great costumes and great company. 

Some of my lovely classmates

Month in Review

It's been awhile since I last updated, but I've been keeping busy!  Here's what I've done in the past month:

The East Lakeview Art Festival at the end of September:

Chicago Symphony Orchestra, conducted by the world reknown conductor, Muni.  This was a FREE concert ant Millennium Park, look at the GORGEOUS background of the city lights.  I was there with 7 other classmates, we had a picnic on the lawn.  It was a gorgeous night and a beautiful concert.  The whole place was packed (they had to shut down the entrance 1/2 before the show started).  At the end, there was even fireworks!!

Now that I'm a member of the Chicago Architecture Foundation, I've been taking advantage of the bus tours and walking tours that they offer.  I've been to two so far:  The Great Chicago Fire Tour and the Loop Tour.  They were both great.  It was fun to learn more about the city and to walk around and just relaxing after a full week of learning.

The Chicago Fire Department.  The art piece marks the site where the Great Chicago Fire originated. 

Another free concert at the Millennium Park.  This was the Chicago Country Music Festival.  It had been a long stressful day of studying, so it was so good to take a break with one of my classmates and listen to some awesome concert, by Jake Owen and then Jewel.  Jewel yodeled.  It was random, but great!

 

And lastly, it was my birthday yesterday.  I had SUCH a wonderful day.  I had so many people wishing me happy birthday (thanks Facebook!).  I got a very sweet phone call from my lovely co-workers at EComm.  I miss the girls at the fire pod.  It was so great to hear from them.  I wrote an exam (and learned today that I received the highest mark in class!  WOOT!), my classmates got me a birthday card and mini cupcakes (totally unexpected, SO sweet of them!), and we all went out to celebrate after class.  The bar we went to had trivia night.  My team got 3rd place (with VERY little help from me), and this was my prize:

All in all, a fantastic month.  I feel like I'm getting the hang of grad school.  It's a lot of work, but I think I'm doing pretty well.  My past two exams have been good, anyways.  I love everything I'm learning, I LOVE my new friends, I love the new city.  I'm just too happy for words, and just so so lucky. 

The next month should be pretty hectic - I've got even more exams coming up and many papers and assignments all due within a week of each other.  But there are also lots of other exciting things:  we are taking a class trip to Wisconsin for a workshop over one of the weekends in November, for one.  Halloween is coming up, and I think I just might dress up this year if I can come up with an idea. 

Good Learning

Today I had the best class since I've started the grad program.  It was a Medical Genetics PBL class on translocations of the chromosomes.  I know I said I don't like PBLs, but I learned so much this class!  I have enjoyed most of my classes so far - but I find some of them kind of repetitive and dry (research methods, etc.).  Since I've tried to keep up with all the readings, a lot of times the lectures are just reviews of what I've already read, with few new and interesting ideas.  I prefer to learn something new when I'm in class, and when a class is largely reviews, I find my attention start to drift.  An easy solution could be to not do the reading before class so the materials would be new, but I don't want to fall behind on my reading and look like an idiot in class.  Anyways, tonight's class was great because our prof taught us things that were either not in the textbook or very confusing to learn on our own.  She really challenged us to think more about the confusing aspects of translocations - from the patient's perspective, and with real scenarios and test outcomes.  I really felt like I learned something new today.  It was VERY satisfying to realize the complexities of the mechanism and the AMAZING way our body copes with these random errors.  It was even more satisfying to feel like I understood it, and that there are more about it that I want to learn.  I loved that this class was so dynamic - more of a discussion and problem solving, rather than just passively memorizing the information.  All I want to do now is go and review the concepts I learned and apply them to some problems!  I think that's the only thing missing in this class and in grad school - there isn't a lot of "practice tests" like in high school or some university classes because teachers and students focus less on the evaluation and testing portion and more on the learning portion of education.  I learn by doing so that would've helped.  I could just make up some of my own questions, but that somehow doesn't feel like actually testing the limits of my knowledge since it was created from my knowledge. 

School has been great - I think I need more of a social life, though.  We don't have a lot of time for one, and the fact that I don't have many friends in the new city and that I live alone certainly don't help.  (Wow, that last sentence was definitely a run-on sentence!)  The past week also was kind of a more subdued week, where I spent most of my time by myself studying.  This is this "brunch or dinner with strangers" event that is put on by one of the student clubs, I'm thinking of going. 

I joined the gym, and I've been twice already.  I plan to keep up with exercising this time.  I feel really uncomfortable at the new gym, though.  I don't really feel like I know what I'm doing or what I should be doing.  There is a swimming pool and a sauna, but I feel sort of self-conscious using them (I don't know why), so I haven't yet.  There are classes as well, but again, I feel self conscious because I fear that my fitness level wouldn't allow me to keep up with the rest of the class.  I know I just need to get over it and eventually will feel more comfortable at this new gym, but for now, it's a struggle.  There was a personal training program that I could join which I know will make me feel better about being at the new gym, BUT it is $1200.  It simply isn't something I could afford. 

I definitely don't miss having a TV.  It's great!!  The only thing is I feel sort of out-of-touch with the world without watching the news, and I simply don't read news on the internet.  Oh well.  Overall, everything is great, I just feel like I need more human interactions, and maybe a little more social life.  I'm thinking concert in the part this weekend, or maybe opera with a classmate sometime this week.

Future First Author

I met with my scholarship project adviser today.  It was great to get more details of the case I'm suppose to be writing.  Also, she told me that since I was going to be doing most of the work, I can be first author on the paper!!!!  I am SO excited.  I am such a nerd!  SO.  Potentially, I could have a paper published (we are thinking Prenatal Diagnosis, not a bad journal, either!) from the scholarship project, maybe my thesis, depending on what I do... and who knows what else?  2 papers in 1 1/2 years?  I'm definitely counting my eggs way way before they are hatched (or even conceived).  But I'm excited.  Regardless of whether I get anything published - what an opportunity!  One of the authors that we will be corresponding with is probably a huge deal in the area, too - I've seen her name in half of the papers that I've researched.  I couldn't be in a happier place. 

My throat has been hurting since last night - I'm hoping that it's nothing.  I cannot afford to get sick right now.  I have so much to do  - reading, research, studying...  I wish I have more time. 

First Week of Class

The first week of class isn't over yet, and I am already feeling a little overwhelmed.  Maybe it's normal - I hope it isn't an indication that I'm not cut out for this.  I think it is just the fact that it's a complete change of lifestyle.  After all, I've been out of school for so long.

The program started with three days of orientation.  I didn't count that as my first week.  Technically all I've had is a first day of class, not a first week of class.  It feels like it, though.  We had 4 classes today, each were about 2 hours long, with hour breaks in between.  I think what most overwhelmed me was the fact that we weren't given a lot of notice on our reading, and despite my effort to stay on top of things, I'm already behind.  Many of the class syllabus were distributed only yesterday or the day before, yet most of them had (a lot of) assigned reading for the first class.  For the first week alone, I count 12 chapters and 5 articles.  I have never done so much reading in my life.  I enjoy the material, but it is a LOT of information to absorb.  We were also given the "expectations" in class - the usual do your work, don't procrastinate sort of thing and that can be intimidating - our profs actually have high expectations from us.  No hand holding. 

We are expected to complete a thesis project by the end of the program.  It is a LOT of work, it seems.  Some of my classmates are not completely enthused by this requirement, but I don't mind it.  I love research.  However, I'm really not looking forward to the beginning and end parts of this process - finding a research question and thesis adviser and the written report and oral defense.  I know from past experience how important a thesis adviser can be, and I have NO IDEA how to go about finding one.  I really hope I can get someone like Janet (and I don't know if I will - that's a pretty high expectation).  I don't know anyone here and don't really have any connections established.  How would I even start looking for someone when I don't even have a research question?  To me, the adviser is more important than the actual question I work on.  I also feel awkward about going to random strangers and asking them to devote so much time on being my thesis adviser.  I don't like writing (mostly because I am not confident in my writing skills), but I am scared of the oral defense.  I just have this fear that I won't know the answers to what they will ask me.  Lastly, I am maybe too ambitious in thinking this, but I hope to get a published paper out of this project.  I don't know if it's a good idea to put that pressure on myself, or maybe it's good to have that goal.  I also want to have an abstract of the project accepted at a national conference (for a poster or a platform presentation).  BUT, at the same time I don't want to get accepted because I hate presentations and public speaking.  It is such an inner struggle!  I'll submit regardless. I'm scared but I still want to push the limits and be the best I can be. 

We also have journal clubs and case conferences - this seems like fun, like the lab meetings I used to go to at Janet's Lab - but more intense.  We each take turn presenting, and it is broadcast to all these faculty members who conference in.  From the sounds of it, about 30 people or more tune in to these meetings, and they grill you pretty hard.  I hate public speaking, and even though I've somewhat overcome those fears with teaching all these years, I still feel uncomfortable when I'm in front of groups of people.

One of my courses is in the style of PBL (problem-based learning).  I like the concept, and I tried it once before - but I didn't like it.  I always feel somewhat lost and am never sure if I was answering the questions properly or adequately.  Another thing out of my comfort zone.

I meet with my scholarship project adviser tomorrow, and she seems so nice.  I hope what little I've done is enough to prepare for this meeting.  I don't think either of us know what to expect, so this should be interesting.

So far, grad school is fun, but definitely challenging.  I love my professors, my classmates, and everyone else I've met in the program.  I don't mind the reading so much, although I'm kind of intimidated and don't know how well I will be able to keep up with 12 chapters of reading per week.  My time management skills are definitely going to be put to test.  I have so many different projects on the go, I really hope I don't drop the ball somewhere along the line.  I want to stay healthy and somehow fit exercising into all this, but I don't know how I'm going to do it!  If nothing else, graduate school is definitely pushing me outside of my comfort zone with all the reading, writing, and presenting.   I hope that I will grow, and that this whole process isn't going to induce TOO much stress.

I'm excited!